I have learned something very interesting about myself throughout the past few weeks. I am scared of people. This may sound odd to those who actually know me as a person, as many would probably describe me as an outgoing and loud individual. Yet, despite these characteristics that those who know me have placed upon me (and my reputation), many do not know that I am simply afraid of people. I am finding myself to be more and more afraid of asking for help, because I'm afraid that my questions will make it appear as though I have learned nothing. Or asking people for favors, in fear of being too reliant on other people in a world that teaches you to rely on yourself. Or sometimes, I just get plain intimidated of someone stemming from a constant fear of their reaction to me. It was one day, after school, waiting for my mother to pick me up, when my sister and I both heard a familiar song being played and sung in the other room. We ran from the doors we stand near, to the chorus room where a mutual friend was singing (and playing) Samson by Regina Spektor. We sat and listened with eager attention as we sang to ourselves (in our own heads of course) the lines of the song. After this was done, Mr. Mutual friend started to play/sing another Regina Spektor song, The Ghost of Corporate future. Being as I had never heard this song, the lyrics, instead of resonating like they did with "Samson", became a spiral of words, letters, and meanings all jumbled up as I started to day dream. When all of the sudden, I heard the line, "People are just people".
"People are just people"
I think that is fabulous. It is amazing. And it is true. (At least, it applies to my life...) I know that I've been scared of someone's reaction when I ask a question, or when I ask for help, or ask for a favor. But what I didn't realize was the point of view from the other end. An amazing thing about humanity is our ability to sympathize. To understand each other. To relate to each other and reach out to each other and help each other. My fear of people didn't turn out to be a fear, but instead more of a lack of understanding and recognizing the fact that everyone has their own issues and problems.
People are often scared to ask questions, not because they may be necessarily "stupid questions, but instead because a question can reveal more about someone than almost anything else.
I am done rambling..
BISOU
Fréd
